When I started my business, the thought of joining a networking group was repulsive. I imagined it as a room full of people selling to each other. Who in their right mind would voluntarily walk into that room? But ok, at some point in our professional journeys, we all made the decision to enter the room.

The next worry was, how can I be interesting to all these people? How do you polish your elevator pitch, make sure your business card is perfect, throw in clever one-liners to make people smile. And yes, all that matters. But here’s the thing: being interesting only gets you so far.

The real key to networking success is this: be interested, not just interesting.

Think about the last time you met someone at an event who only talked about themselves. Their business, their services, their achievements. Did you walk away feeling connected? Probably not. In fact, you probably felt sold to.

Now, compare that to the person who asked you thoughtful questions: “What got you into your line of work?” Or “Tell me about your best client?” Or even, “What’s been the best part of your week so far?” That person made you feel seen, and that connection was more personal.

Here’s why being interested works:

  1. People love to talk about themselves.

Maybe not just getting up in front of a crowd and talking about themselves, but in a 1:1 setting. It’s not because we’re egotistical or selfish, it’s because it feels good when someone cares enough to ask and genuinely listens to the answers. In a 2012 study, Neuroscience showed that talking about ourselves activates the same pleasure centers in the brain as eating chocolate. When you give someone that experience, they’ll associate that positive feeling with you.

  1. Being interested builds trust.

When you ask questions and listen, you show that your focus isn’t just on closing a deal — it’s on building a relationship. And trust is the currency of networking. People refer business to those they trust, not necessarily those who have a flashy pitch.

  1. Interest creates influence.

The people we view as leaders aren’t always the loudest in the room. Instead the best leaders are the ones who make others feel valued. When you show genuine interest, you naturally build influence because people remember how you made them feel.

So how do we shift from being interesting to being interested? Here are a couple practical tips:

  • Adopt the “70/30 Rule.” In a networking conversation, aim to spend 70% of the time listening and 30% talking. This keeps the spotlight on the other person.

  • Ask better questions. Instead of “What do you do?” ask, “What do you love about what you do?” That opens the door for a story — and stories are memorable.

  • Look for connection points. Ask about things outside of business – maybe a hobby, family, or where they grew up, and lean into that. Networking is about being human first, business second.

Let me wrap up with this thought: being interesting may get people to notice you once. But being interested gets people to remember you, trust you, and want to work with you.

So next time you walk into a room like this, instead of asking, “How can I make myself more interesting?” try asking, “How can I show more interest in the people I meet today?”

Because in networking, people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.